So last night I had a conversation with my father about traveling, staying, moving, buying, selling, selling out, and buying in...And well at the end of the whole thing I cried a little.

I have always considered myself to be a strong person. I have not always thought myself to be beautiful, intelligent, charming, good smelling or wise-- but I have always felt my back bone was strong, and my ability to survive was more than innate.

Now my strength has always been relative to necessity. If I am alone, I can deal with the spider on my wall- however if Stewart was asleep in the next room, I was apt to wake him for assistance. I would hand him a book or shoe and turn away with fear. If faced with that very same spider in the presence of my sisters, I would have stepped up and saved the day (uncomfortably...but done).

There have been days here where I have felt myself step up, take on that spider, and accomplish the tasks needed. I was strong, because I had to be strong. I survived because I had the will to survive. I played charades with the woman who came to check my propane, because I needed propane. C'est la vie.

Last night, momentarily, on the phone with my father- I no longer needed to be strong. There were no propane ladies to deal with, no sisters to role model to, no classes to teach, or taxi drivers to communicate with. I sat there and wept. Big bad and brave Sarah (ha-ha) could crawl into her father's lap, if only for a moment, and be protected.

I am thankful that I can crawl into my fathers lap. He sends me coffee and prescriptions- does my taxes, and ships me off to the ends of the earth for God's service. He taught me his strength, and given me his legs (when mom was voted hottest legs in school), however I did get his hair (great hair at that).

My heavenly father taught me a lesson, using my earthly father last night. They are both available, always, to be strength in my life. They both don't mind if I crawl into their laps and cry, if only for a moment. My earthy father's belief in me incubates my slow and steady growth, while my belief in my heavenly father gives me life to strengthen.


Phil 4:13 13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength



Nathaniel and Dad